Gentle and Lowly, Chapter 21 - “He Loved Us Then; He’ll Love Us Now”

On of the biggest struggles of my life in Christ has been fighting the feeling that I am such a disappointment to God. Since becoming a Christian, I have constantly looked at my many ongoing failures to obey, to live how God calls me to, and allow those failures to make me feel like a failure in His eyes. This quote from Chapter 21 describes it perfectly:

But if we were to more closely examine how we actually relate to the Father moment by moment—which reveals our actual theology, whatever we say we believe on paper—many of us tend to believe it is a love infected with disappointment.

As Ortlund also points out, this is a form of disbelief anchored in my own way of thinking about…well, me. “Once again, it is a result of projecting our own capacities to love onto God.” I struggle to love with the kind of abandon that can love unconditionally when confronted with others’ failures. So, in thinking God reject me in my failures, I see my own feeble attempts to love.

But that love is not God’s love for us. “God’s love is as boundless as God Himself.” The grace and mercy that flow from His heart—from His own initiative and His own desire—overcomes all of my sins and rebellions. He overcame our sin when we still hated Him and wanted nothing to do with Him! (Rom. 5:6-10). With that kind of love, how much more does He love us who are now His children…even when we mess up? As Ortlund states so clearly: “He loved us in our mess then. He’ll love us in our mess now.” That truly is an amazing love!